Empty nest Syndrome

What is Empty nest syndrome?

Empty nest syndrome refers to the grief that many parents feel when their children move out of home. This condition is typically more common in women, who are more likely to have had the role of primary carer. Unlike the grief experienced when (for example) a loved one dies, the grief of empty nest syndrome often goes unrecognised, because an adult child moving out of home is seen as a normal, healthy event. Upset parents may find few sources of support or sympathy. In many cases, empty nest syndrome is compounded by other difficult life events or significant changes happening around the same time, such as retirement or menopause.

Signs And Symptoms

some parents are more susceptible than others. People who suffer the most from empty nest syndrome tend to have things in common, including:

Change is considered stressful, rather than challenging or refreshing.
They found moving out of home a difficult and emotional experience.
Their marriage is unstable or unsatisfactory.
Experiences such as weaning their babies from the breast, or sending their children off to school, were emotional and painful.
People who rely on their roles for self-identity are more likely to feel bereft than people who have a strong sense of self-worth.
People who are full-time parents are more often affected than people who also have other duties to perform (such as paid employment).
Parents who worry that their children aren’t ready to take on adult responsibilities tend to experience more grief.

New challenges

The challenges faced by parents experiencing empty nest syndrome include:

Establishing a new kind of relationship with their adult children.
Becoming a couple again, after years of sharing the home with children.
Filling the void in the daily routine created by absent children.
Lack of sympathy or understanding from others, who consider children moving out to be a normal, healthy event.

Other difficulties

The grief of empty nest syndrome may be compounded by other life events happening at the same time, including:

Retirement
Redundancy
Menopause
Death of a spouse.

Treating an Empty Nest Syndrome

If you’re experiencing feelings of loss due to empty nest syndrome, take action. For example:

Accept the timing. Avoid comparing your child’s timetable to your own experience or expectations. Instead, focus on what you can do to help your child succeed when he or she does leave home.
Keep in touch. You can continue to be close to your children even when you live apart. Make an effort to maintain regular contact through visits, phone calls, emails, texts or video chats.
Seek support. Share your feelings with loved ones and friends whose children have recently left home. If you feel depressed, consult your doctor or a mental health provider.
Stay positive. Thinking about the extra time and energy you might have to devote to your marriage or personal interests after your last child leaves home might help you adapt to this major life change.

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